أميرة الصحراء

theclosetiswonderland:
[SPOILER] Why did Villanelle cry? A dive into this moment…
This time Villanelle is crying genuinely. She also cried when she was having dinner with Eve, but the difference is notorious, when Villanelle cried, she was in front of Eve, she was trying to make Eve believe that she was a victim in that situation, she was mimicking that emotion. In contrast, when Villanelle is in the bathroom, she doesn’t have anyone around her, she’s completely alone. And that’s what hits her, how lonely she feels. And maybe for the first time, she not only sees how it is like to suffer, but to actually experience how that hurts.
“There are areas where psychopaths may actually be hypersensitive to emotions… rejection by others, changes in circumstances that are not under their control and loneliness.” In Villanelle’s case we might assume that she feels not only rejected, but out of control of her life and lonely. Rejected and forgotten by Eve, she is slowly losing the control over her life, something she definitely didn’t expect to go through…
Throughout her life, Villanelle always felt alone because she is very different from everyone else. She never found someone who could understand her the way Eve does. She tried to connect with Anna, with Nadia, and even Konstantin, but when it comes to Eve, things are different. Eve knows her, who she really is, she sees Villanelle, not only to achieve her own personal purposes, but she’s genuinely interested in Villanelle as a person. Something that she never experienced with anyone else. Eve is someone she feels safe to let her guard down, not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically… Eve’s is the “someone to watch movies with” she so badly needs. She craves for someone who can see her as more than a skilled assassin, and it’s obvious by how devoted she is to go after Eve, even calling London her home, that’s how “safe” she feels around Eve. Some would say that Eve’s giving up on everything she has to be with Villanelle, even if she doesn’t recognize it. If that’s the case, Villanelle is not so far behind.
But can she love Eve? “The lower on the scale a psychopath is, the more likely they are to develop some sort of love… psychopaths may still want to be loved…”. We know Villanelle is a psychopath, but we don’t know her range of emotions, we don’t know what is needed to reach those buried feelings, but apparently Eve is the answer. With this in mind, if Villanelle were to have a relationship with anyone, they probably would never bare the weight of being in a relationship with her, and she knows that. However, there’s one person who she can be vulnerable with, whose darkness she can see reflected in their eyes, and that person is Eve. To think that Eve doesn’t really care about her anymore, makes her feel hopeless and as lonely as ever, because what else is there for her then?
The smile in the end shows she’s surprised with herself, with her own reaction; I don’t think she ever expected to be this vulnerable. And she likes it, to feel something, so she allows herself be overwhelmed by those emotions in that moment. A crack in the ice-cold assassin’s surface.
Gifs: @sailortwift